Hawk Power

"What in the earth world,

is there not to be amazed by
and to be steadied by
and to cherish?
Oh my dear heart,
my own dear heart,
full of hesitations,
questions, choice of directions,

look at the world."

from The Singular and Cheerful Life, by Mary Oliver

I have great sympathy for the juvenile red tailed hawks. Every morning for days now, I have been awakened by the zealous cawing of the crows. They have located the overnight roost of the adolescent hawk and they are declaring to the world where it is. Amidst the constant caw! caw!
caw! intercedes an almost plaintive, guttural shriek from the young hawk. Apparently it isn't big enough yet, or more importantly, confident enough yet, to realize it has the power to turn on the crows and scare them off. Instead it hunkers down, the crows dive bombing it, crying out sporadically until eventually fleeing to another perch, with the crows of course, in hot pursuit.

Once, at a bird workshop, the naturalists came with various hawks they had captured in the dawn mist nets to band. It is an awesome experience to see these majestic birds up close. What amazed me was how calm they appeared. They seemed to understand that they were not in any danger. They waited patiently in the naturalist's heavily gloved hand while he talked, all the while watching and alert. They exuded power and confidence. They were not afraid. When he was finished, he lifted his hand and released the bird to the air. Be still my heart. Be still everyone's heart that morning as we witnessed the huge wings open up and pump, pump the bird up and away into the early morning sky. Their natural power was stunning.

Much of my own life over the past decade has been about coming into my own power. Like the young hawk, it took me a long time to understand that I did have an innate power of my own that was not dependent on being sourced from anyone or anything. It existed within me and once recognized was available in unlimited supply. But unless we are taught it is there, have its presence blessed and nurtured, see it demonstrated by others around us as children, we remain unaware of its existence. Instead we begin searching for the means to feed the instinctual hunger we feel; mistakenly believing it can be obtained from people or things outside ourselves and in giving ourselves to them in that search, we become dependent instead of independent. Looking back over my own life, I can see where I did this. I understand now that although my Mom was a talented and creative person, she was so focused on creating herself through her relationship with my Dad, that she was unable to bless and thereby activate the natural power in me. How could she? She didn't recognize it in herself. She suffered greatly in her lifetime by not being able to envision herself as having the ability to create a meaningful life on her own. She wasn't alone. Many of us look for ways outside ourselves. The ability of some of these power replacements to seduce is extraordinary. Institutions and causes are wonderful substitutes for power; politics, sex, relationships and religion even more so. We know this is true, because invariably, those who have too much of themselves vested in them, inevitably run short. There is never enough power when it does not come from within. When this happens to someone I think of the term 'black hole'. A terrible downward sucking vortex is created by the intense need to replenish the power sought externally because they lack the awareness of their own ability to self generate. Sometimes this happens very publicly, sometimes very quietly; but it always does. Authentic, genuine power is something we create out of respect and love of our own value. It does not feed. It does not employ fear or manipulation. A person grounded this way does not abuse power nor do they fear running out of it. It is only one of many parts of themselves they employ to be about their lives. Most importantly, they know how to weld that power safely. The integrity of their own self esteem is what fuels their use of it. They know what the hawk knows.

In the great debate over health care reform going on in our country as well as during our recent economic crisis, we are seeing a good deal of the machinery of power --authentic and not. For me, whenever the smell of fear is in the air, I know what is going on is more about trying to prove who is more powerful than about working out a solution that addresses genuine concerns. Just like in nature, things are out of balance. We begin to act like that adolescent hawk. We don't realize that we have the power to achieve a solution. Fear breeds on cultivating this belief. The fear mongering going on drowns out the space to even think, much less act. Conflict is the ultimate demonstration of a lack of authentic power. When we resort to denigrating each other, rock throwing isn't far behind.

It is a great misconception to believe that harmony is a state of utopia. Far from it. Harmony exists when difference is tolerated and encouraged within parameters that take into account the rights and needs of everyone. As every good mother teaches: no one gets it all their way all the time. It recognizes the need for responsibility and accountability. It values the process as much as the result and that process is often very messy. Sometimes listening to all the talking heads I wish that we were all born knowing how to use our own power--as well as a host of other things, but then sigh, what would be the great lesson of living? We learn and grow as human beings from how we choose to struggle and by accepting that learning is not always tidy. Just ask any parent or teacher. Still, we don't like to hear it.

In the world of the hawk, the rabbit, the deer, it is the survival of the most physically fit. I am thinking this morning, that in the world of humanity, we are learning that survival is not going to be of the fittest physically but of the fittest spiritually. I'm not talking about a religious persuasion. I am talking about our spiritual growth as soulful human beings. This great debate going on right now is not the first, nor the last we will have to deal with. Each one presents to us again and again, the opportunity to learn how to create this harmony by exercising our highest expressions of power: tolerance, trust, wisdom, justice, compassion. We can establish broad guidelines for it in our laws, but ultimately, each of us will have to be out on a limb, with the crows at our back and realize it for ourselves.