A Little Light

"Rather he consoled himself with the fact that, in the real world, when he looked closely into the darkness he might find the presence of a light, damaged and bruised, but a little light all the same. He wanted, quite simply, for the world to be a better place, and he was in the habit of hoping for it. Out of that came some sort of triumph that went beyond theological proof, a cause for optimism against all the evidence.
"Someday the meek might actually want it," he said."Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin

It is hard to hold on to optimism these days. Visiting with folks on the Gulf, listening to their frustrations and fears is hard but it is the still, quiet resignation that is the most arresting. People are deeply frightened for their livelihoods and their way of life. In the places where the oil hasn't arrived, the waiting to see if and when it will, is as bad as when it does. Not knowing has its own unique horribleness. The common thread yet to be gathered up for good use, is that so many people want to take action; want desperately to do something they feel is helping but find themselves stymied by lack of coordination, jurisdiction or direction.
Whether true or not, the situation seems pretty hopeless and we are all grappling with where to find a place to stand and believe in the wake of it. Some are simply adding their despair to the morass of what already exists. The media helps keep that pot boiling. There are others who are venting their anger and blaming. I get that part too. Anger as an impetus for a positive course of action becomes a formidable ally for good. But right now, what I am thinking is needed is something far more essential. Somewhere in all of this we have to dig around in the muck and get a good grip on some hope.
Being born is by its nature, an act of hope. To make a life and to live it, requires heart and courage but also hopefulness. Right now, we have arrived in that place where all the mechanical, action oriented solutions we have to life's problems have reached the limits of their capabilities. The big solutions are not working or have, like the oil dispersant, backfired.
So this morning, I am thinking about the value of what we don't know and finding solace there. The earth is a massive, living entity. It has rhythms and ways of balancing itself that we simply do not understand and up to now, have not respected. This oil spill reminds me of the willful child who finally having been allowed to run amuck too long, stands in stunned amazement when the legacy of his behavior finally comes full circle. We are that willful child and the earth is the landscape of our legacy. Our saving grace may be that besides being willful, we also have the capacity for change and hope. We can believe in the face of insurmountable odds. The intersection of those two positions might just hold the trans formative solution that saves us both. Sometimes when you feel there is nothing else you can do, you discover you overlooked what you had that was most required.